Recap 211 - To Sprong With Love

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The whole gang is hanging out at the Brickhouse. Andi and Sock gets ready to arm-wrestle. Sock complains to Sam that Andi is not "squaring off" her "massive shoulders". Nina is confused, so Ben has to explain that they're arm-wrestling, plus that Sock has never beaten Andi. Sock is now on Andi's case about her thumb placement, and Sam has to calm him down by reminding him that he "almost sprained his ankle" last time he got like this. Am I hearing this right? Was arm wrestling somehow involved in a sprained ankle?

No matter. The focus now shifts to some guy with unfortunate facial hair hitting on Nina. "Wow. A statement and a question. You're gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?" Well, as pick-up lines go, it's far superior to "Hi, you're standing on my penis." Ben is quick to point out Nina has a drink. The "and she has a boyfriend" is implied. The guy oozes off with a promise to wait at the bar in case she "changes her mind". Dude looks like he just stepped out of the 70s. He's a demon isn't he? Know how I can tell? The same way Buffy could tell someone is a vampire.

Ben: Can you believe that? Who does that?
Nina: Weird.
Me: Weirder than most of the ways you guys use to pick up girls? Come on now.

Back to arm-wrestling. On Sock's orders, Sam uses Ben's tie to tie Sock and Andi's hands together.

Another guy comes to hit on Nina. This one is kind of good looking. He's wearing a ski cap, presumably to cover up his horns. "Hi, I'm Xavier, but you can call me X." He crosses his two index fingers to make an X. "What's your name?"

"Nina," she answers pointedly. "And this is my boyfriend Ben."

X (hey, it's easy to type, I'll go with it) rambles something about the name Nina meaning fire in some Native American language. "Are you fire?" She is and she's taken, Ben answers for her, annoyed. Eh, maybe I'm desensitized to stupid pick-up methods after all the crap Sock has been pulling this season, but these guys don't seem so bad in comparison. Maybe a little lame, but nothing that makes me want to smack them upside the head.

"Really? Does he own you?" I guess X is supposed to come off douchey here, but to me he just seems kind of confused in that sort of cute "I am a demon, I do not understand these human customs" way. Nina just evenly tells him she is not interested.

"You will come with me to my table," X insists. "We'll share a bottle of pinot. Then, we'll go back to my loft. We'll make love. Slow. Gentle. Hard." Ben is totally pissed off now. "What? What?! Dude, you need to leave, like right now, do you hear me? Like right now, dude!" X backs off, but he keeps smiling and winking at Nina.

Now Ben is all like "What the hell was that?" Nina says she doesn't know and that the place is just full of creeps tonight. But her little sideways looks tells me this is some kind of demon mating ritual, and she must be in some kind of demon heat. And it's not just because I already watched the episode. Guessed it the first time, too!

Sock shrugs it off. "Well, you know what? To be fair, Nina is super foxy and you're you. So people have a hard time believing you guys are dating." So many retorts... ah, forget it, it'll take too long. Sock and Andi gets down to arm-wrestling. (Andi: "Finally!") They trash talk all the way through. It looks like Andi is getting the upper-hand, but Sock gets a sudden victory.

"Finally!" Sock gloats. "You're just a weak little girl! You see that? You want to see what defeat looks like, take a picture!" He does a victory dance. Nina is again confused on what's going on. Ben non-explains that he choreographed Sock's dance and it'll take about ten minutes. "M-A! M-A!" Sock twirls his arms complete with hip wriggles. "We know how you got that way! Yo mama! Uh! Uh! Yo mama!"

"You're so stupid," Andi laughs. Did Andi just let Sock win because she wanted to see the dance? I think so. Sam gets up to "get him some real music". Sam, sit your ass down and pay attention to the dance!

Of course he doesn't listen to me and The Devil's teleportationatron strikes again as soon as he presses a key on the jukebox. He chose "Cleared Heart" by "The Pool Sheets", in case you were wondering. According to Google, this doesn't exist. Sam is devil-ported to a jewelry store, where The Devil is behind the counter, showing diamond rings to a couple. Then he starts to sell them on cubic zirconias. The guy is instantly more interested, and The Devil tells him to go look at the cubic zirconias. Left alone with the woman still looking longingly at the diamonds, The Devil tells her a guy who won't buy her a diamond is not all that committed. She huffs off.

"Having a good time?" Sam grouches. "Are you kidding me?" The Devil laughs. "There's no better feeling in the world than busting up nuptials." The couple is fighting in the background. "Looooves it!" Hee. In this case, I think The Devil actually did them a favor. The guy needs to be with a woman who has no use for diamonds, and she needs to be with a man who is as sold on the importance of diamonds as she is. This little exercise shows that they have very different values. They're doomed anyway. Better they find out now than after they've married and had 2.5 children.

Sam wants to get down to business, so The Devil gives him soul of the week's dossier. Sam asks if there's anything The Devil wants to tell him about the soul. Dude, just read the dossier. The Devil tells him as much. "I'm working here, I don't look at every piece of paper that passes my desk. You know the drill. Bad guy, escaped, he needs to be captured."

Sam opens the dossier to see a class photo with the teacher circled. It's Mr. Sprong, Sam's high school biology teacher! (Also known as Michael McDonald, the guy who played creepy man-child Stewart on MADtv.)

The Devil wants to know if Sam knowing the guy will be a problem for him. "No," Sam enthuses. "He was a complete ass. Totally makes sense he's an evil soul. I'll be happy to send him back to hell." Somehow I get the feeling The Devil does indeed carefully look through and hand-pick each soul for Sam to catch, his whole "I'm too busy for this" thing is just him protesting too much.

Credits.

Work Bench. Ted calls Sock to the manager's office on the PA system. Sock walks in to see Ted chucking things in the trash left and right, including Andi's leather jacket. Dude, those things are expensive? You could sell it. Sock asks him what he's doing. "Cleansing," Ted answers, " getting rid of the bad mojo." He shows Sock a pretty picture frame with a picture of Andi and a puppy. "Look at that, lovely bone structure." And he trashes it. He tells Sock that he is now store manager, well, interim store manager, but those are just words and words can't hurt him anymore. He throws a laptop in the trash. Oh, I would still worry about Andi hurting me if I were him. She can allegedly throw cans of latex paint with great power and accuracy.

Sock congratulates him and figures the company couldn't find anyone else to be manager. Ted's "uh..." confirms that theory. Ted learned something over his "brief but painful hiatus". He wants to cherish those who support him and shun those who sabotage him. He sees Sock as a supporter. Sock is clearly surprised but he'll go with it. He offers to take Ted's money.

"This is more than money my friend," Ted smiles, "I'm doing a flyer for the Sunday paper. And you, Mr. Bret Wysocki, with your beautiful face and your sticky uppy hair." Sock basks in the compliments. "You'd be the one who brings in the customers. I want you, to be the face of the Bench." Sock agrees to do it for 25 bucks. Do store managers really do stuff like make flyers? Isn't that corporate's job? Ah, but doesn't matter, this actually results in some pretty good wacky hijinks.

Sam goes up to Andi at the customer service counter with his vessel and dossier. "You're not gonna believe this." He shows her the picture of Mr. Sprong. I just now noticed that they spliced in the previous shot of the photo clipped to the rest of the file, when in this scene, Andi is holding just the photo. "Oh my god," she grits, "I hated this guy." They speculate that he was an escaped soul all along, because no living person could be that evil. They exchange evil Sprong stories. Sprong told Andi that she was biologically dumber than a guy, and he told Sam that it was possible he was partially brain damaged. Well, he might be right on the latter.

Andi opens the vessel box and is delighted with the mallet inside. "It's a good weight," she taps her hand with it, "When can we get him?" Sam is surprised she wants to participate, what with her insistence that The Devil is evil and no good can come from anything to do with him. "Oh, no no no no," Andi backpedals, "it's just too evil for me to date you. I'd still help you hunt souls." Oh, first you hunt souls together, then one thing leads to another. Look at Sock's man-crush on Sam.

Sam is planning to go tomorrow night after school, since Sprong always stays late to grade papers. "Great! It's a date!" Andi cheers. She catches herself and tries to play it cool. "I mean, it's just, it's something we do." Aw, she so wants him. Sam knows it too, he smiles adorably.

Sock's House. Ben and Nina are snuggling on the couch, watching a movie. Nina laughs like it's the funniest thing ever. According to Ben they're watching The Deer Hunter, which is not a comedy. Nina asks him if he's sure it's not a comedy. Before he can answer, there's a huge thump and a bunch of knickknacks on the wall behind them fall down and shatter. Ben is all like, what was that? "Probably just the wind," Nina lies obviously. More thumps, some demonic roars. Ben is pretty sure it's not the wind. It sounds like something is attacking the house. A horny demon perhaps (no pun intended)?

Nina finally explains that those guys hitting on her in the bar were demons, and they were hitting on her not because she is hot, but because they can't help themselves, since she is in heat and giving off pheromones. This happens to female demons once every year.

They hear more noises. Nina is fed up. "Cut it out!" She looks out the window and sees that it's X. Ben is not pleased. "That is not okay. The only one who gets to mate with you is me!" Ben marches out to the patio, rolling pin in hand. "Get your ass down here!" X, in demon form, leaps from the roof. "Nina. What's up?" His voice in demon form doesn't sound any different. Ben tentatively tells him to back off. X just puts a claw on Ben's throat while he asks Nina out to dinner "Maybe fly to Tahoe." Nina's eyes glow yellow. She gets into demon form and pushes X away, breaking some of the patio railing in the process. He roars at her. She roars back. Chastened, X flies off. Ben looks freaked. But, eh, when doesn't he? Nina changes back and calmly suggest they go back and watch the movie.

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Next day at the breakfast table, we join Sam and Ben as they're talking about what happened. Sam asks Ben if he got hurt. Ben says no, Nina whupped X's ass, but next time, Ben is determined to throw down and protect his woman. Sock joins them in the kitchen. Sam wonders why he's going out so early. Sock is off to do a Work Bench photo-shoot. "I look amazing." He looks like he always looks, but this is Sock, of course he thinks that. Ben do not think he is ready for a photo-shoot. Well, it's a Work Bench flyer. It would not make sense for him to be too dressed-up. Oh, but Ben means his eyebrows are "not working". Sam agrees. "Eyebrows are the windows to your face," Ben explains, proclaiming Sock's eyebrows a "hot mess". Ben licks his fingers and straighten Sock's eyebrows with his spit. Eeeewww.

Now Nina comes in and wants to talk to Ben. They leave to have their chat. "That was horrifying," Sock is not happy with getting spit on his face. Well, why did you just stand there and let him groom you, dummy? I would have ran for it as soon as I saw licked fingers. "You look wet," Sam says. Sock wipes his eyebrows.

In the living room, Nina tells Ben she'll be in heat for another week and those male demons aren't going to leave her alone with her pheromones driving them crazy, so she is locking herself away in an "undisclosed underground location" until it's over. Ben wants to know where that is, but Nina insists it's safer if he doesn't know. Ben is not okay with not seeing Nina for a week. I see he has not stopped his clingy ways. Ben do not think they should have to stop their lives for some jerk. He wants to stop X himself. "Ben no!" Nina exclaims. "I mean, he's a demon, he eats guys like you for breakfast. Sometimes lunch. Mostly for dinner." Hee. Ben insists he can take care of himself, and of Nina. Nina concedes to staying only if Ben promises not to do anything to get himself killed. Ben promises, but his face says he is really not okay with it.

Work Bench warehouse. There is a photo-shoot setup with a plain white backdrop. Ben is grooming Sock some more. Sock is now dressed like Ben, in a dark purplish blue floral shirt and what appears to be tighter jeans than usual for Sock. Did Sock have those clothes all along or did they go shopping? I don't think he could have borrowed anything out of Ben's wardrobe. Sock is fed up with the grooming and yells at Ben, for the last time, to stop putting spit on his face. Ted saunters up. "There's my model. Looking very fly, Bert." Ted proudly shows Sock his costume. It's a man-sized suit shaped like a wrench that appears to be made of duct-tape and cardboard, and it's wearing a Work Bench apron.

Both Ben and Sock are like, ew, what is that? "It's Wrenchy Bench, I invented him myself." Of course you did, Ted. "Store mascot. Eh? People will love him! And because of that they will love you." Ben thinks this is degrading and refuses on Sock's behalf. "This will take Sock to the highest heights of fame and fortune, so zip it." Ted says, making a zipping motion with his hand. Ben is adamant. "You won't even be able to see him! Sock. Don't. The fashion community will never take you seriously after this. Walk away with your dignity." Ben, you are aware that you are talking to Underwear Man and the guy who was jealous of Sam getting to be in the Halloween pumpkin suit? Sock will do it for 25 more bucks. Ted is ecstatic.

Work Bench front door. Sock is now working it in the Wrenchy Bench costume, surrounded by a small crowd of customers and happy children. "Welcome to the Work Bench. Home of Wrenchy Bench. Who's feeling the joy I'm spreading?" Sam looks on, a little embarrassed for him yet amused. Hmm, I think it might have worked even better if they put this short scene right after "walk away with your dignity." I love a good ironic scene change.

Dusk. The Prius is parked in front of Robert Stroud High School. Sock, Sam and Andi are inside. Sock plays with the mallet and calls out for "Sprongy". Apparently Sock's Sprong story is that Sprong told him he will be doing soft-core porn after high school. Why is Sock so pissed about that? Wouldn't he want to do soft-core porn? Sock loudly boasts about being the "face of the Work Bench", swinging the Mallet around all willy-nilly. Sam finally takes it from him and tells him to stop. Sock leaves to "hit the can". Sam tells him to hurry. You can't hurry a man on the can, Sam. Could get messy.

Left alone, Sam and Andi comment on weird it is to be back in their high school with all their memories. Andi points out a poster for a "Spotlight Dance" at 7:30 on Friday. "Oh my god, we went to that dance together, remember?" Sam answers he does with a sweet smile. Andi reminisces that she secretly wanted him to kiss her that night. Then she is embarrassed that she told him that. They both stutter at each other for a bit, Sam over how he thought Andi just wanted to be friends then, and if only he had known... Andi over how yeah, she wanted to be friends with Sam, but... "Story of our lives," Andi sums it up. "Bad timing."

Sock is back. He gets up close to Sam's side and mockingly spells with a humping motion: "K-I-S-S-I-oooow!" Sam hits Sock in the ear with the mallet. "Why? Oh, that stings."

High school science lab. Sure enough, Sprong is there grading papers. He pissily tells them school is closed. The three of them stride up to him. Sock quips that they're here for a little "extra credit". Sprong recognizes "Bret Wysocki". Sock asks if he's surprised to see him. "Surprised you're not incarcerated." Sock fake-laughs and tries to come up with a clever retort, but all he can come up with is that he's surprised Sprong is not living in a box on a... doing a... "Sam, a little help." This prompts Sprong to stand up with his arms crossed. "I don't believe it. Sam Oliver. What are you doing back here?" Why is his reaction to Sam so much bigger than to Sock? You'd think Sock is the kind of student who would leave a very bad impression on his teachers, but Sam... he would just be an average non-entity. Yet Sprong is acting like Sam did something terrible to him. Is there a story there?

Sam informs Sprong that they found out about what he really is. "Son, I have a lot of work to do and very little time to take a trip down memory lane with a couple of technical college rejects." Sock is proud to tell Sprong he didn't even apply. "I hear you talking, but all I see is this." Sprong makes the international hand signal for yappity-yap-yap. "Miss Prendergast, I must say I'm disappointed to see you here with these two. Despite all your faults, and there were many, you had at least a glimmer of potential. But I see you're still rolling in the mud with the other swine." Sock thinks Sprong is calling Andi fat and takes great umbrage at that. Andi simply tells him: "You are evil. And you're going back to hell."

"What are you going to do to me?" Sprong chuckles. Sam hits him in the head with the mallet. Sprong is down. They laugh and tell him to "suck it", until they realize Sprong did not get sucked into the vessel. Also he is bleeding. "Uh..." Sock is confused. "Are souls supposed to bleed?" There was some blood on the big brawling souls in the season opener, so I think they are. I guess it could have been someone else's blood then. Anyway, the lack of vessel suckage is still a concern.

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Still at the high school, Sock, Sam and Andi are freaking out and wondering what's going on. Andi takes the dossier out of Sam's backpack and reads it while Sock and Sam continue freaking. Andi tells them Sprong is not a soul. He's the target of the soul. Oopsy-daisy. The actual soul is Jordy Boone, a former student of Sprong's who wants to kill him. "You didn't even look at the file, did you?" Andi is pissed. This is kind of a change from the Sam who got annoyed when Morgan didn't read the file. But I guess when you think you know the soul, it's an easy mistake to make. Sam meekly explains that he's "a picture guy". Andi rightly points out he is now an "armed-assault guy". They realize they are in a lot of trouble now.

Especially since Sprong is waking up. He is perfectly lucid and ready to report them to the authorities. Sam apologizes for hitting him with a mallet. "It was a huge misunderstanding, but you're in danger. Someone is trying to kill you." Andi asks if he remembers Jordy Boone. "Jordy? He's dead." Sprong sure remembers a lot about his students for someone who's supposed to be an awful teacher. Sam tells Sprong they'll explain everything as soon as they get him someplace safe. Sprong is having none of it. Suddenly, Jordy shows up. Sprong is shocked silent. Sam swings at Jordy with the mallet, but he disappears before Sam can hit him. He then suddenly shows up behind Andi, and Sam takes another swing, same thing happens. "You're dead, Sprong." Invisible Jordy says in an echoy ghostly voice. I'm thinking Jordy's soul power is neither simply teleportation or invisibility, he has the power to dematerialize at will.

Sam shouts to Sock and Andi to get Sprong out. The two of them drag Sprong on his rolling chair. Sam keeps swinging at Jordy over and over like a big game of whack-a-mole, smashing a whole lot of stuff in the lab in the process.

Sock and Andi drag Sprong into another classroom and they close the door as soon as Sam joins them inside. They can hear Jordy in a sing-song voice calling "come out, come out" out in the hallway. Sam stage whispers: "Okay, do you believe us now? That guy came back from the dead to kill you, he's not gonna stop, so if you wanna live, you will come with us, okay?" He's yelling by the end, Jordy totally would have heard him. Sprong is still not convinced. "I don't know how you pulled off that mind-freak business back there, but you are all. Going. To jail. And I will take every delight in making sure-" THUMP. Sock knocks Sprong out with the mallet. They roll out of there.

Somehow they made it back to Sock's house without running into Jordy or being stopped by anyone else. Now Andi is duct-taping him to a kitchen chair. Andi snipes at Sam some more about his not reading the file ending up with her becoming a felon involved in a kidnapping. Sam passes that buck right to her and blames her for wanting to come with them. He doesn't think this is his fault. To be fair, it's partly The Devil's fault, he was totally trying to trick Sam with this one. Mostly it is still Sam's fault for not reading the file. He should know by now to be very careful with any assignment The Devil gives him.

Sam and Andi bicker their way out of the kitchen. Left alone with Sprong, Sock checks on whether Ben is okay. "He doesn't look as bad as I remember," Ben assures Sock. "I'm older now, so I can handle it." Sock fills him in that "all they have to do" is keep Sprong like this until they capture the soul, and then they have to convince him not to go to the police. Good luck, guys. Sprong wakes up and announces that he has to go to the bathroom. Sock slides a big plastic measuring cup across the counter. "In there." Someone is still going to have to hold that for Sprong, since his hands are tied.

Sprong now recognizes Ben's "skinny frame" (who doesn't he ever recognize?) and starts in on him. "Have you realized your lifelong dream of becoming a woman yet?" Yes, Sprong, so there. No, Ben actually stoically tells him it's nice to see him. This time Sprong is the one to tell Ben's Sprong horror story. Apparently Ben started crying like a five-year-old girl when they had to dissect a cat in class. Cat, really? Would that even have been allowed in a high school biology class? This is stretching my disbelief much more than being The Devil's bounty hunter. Besides, I can see Ben crying over a lab rat (they are pretty cute and fuzzy).

Ben takes a strong stand, stating that it was against his principles. But Sprong's taunts about how stiff and frozen and helpless the kitty was finally gets to Ben. Sock stuffs a bandana into Sprong's mouth to shut him up, but it was too late - Ben retreats, presumably to curl up in bed and cry. Wait, why do they have a pile of bandanas? Did they swap those from Morris' stash from his cowboy phase? Sock silently points a "you're on notice" finger at Sprong and goes after Ben.

Work Bench paint counter. Sock and Sam agrees that they can't put "poor Ben" on Sprong duty, as it will "destroy him". Andi is watching him now. Sam suggests maybe they could get Nina to pitch in, too. Great, another thing that Nina has to protect Ben from. Because he's not neurotic enough about that already.

"It's him!" A little brunette boy points at Sock and gasps. A little blonde boy comes up to the counter with a flyer and asks "Wrenchy" for an autograph. Sock checks out the flyer for the first time. He appears to be on every page in various poses. "I look amazing." It really does look quite good. "Yes, you may. Have my autograph." Sock scribbles something on the page without looking. "Don't even have to look when I do it. That good."

Sock and Sam walk through the Bench. Many children say hi to Wrenchy Bench. Sock waves and hi-fives a kid. "I am bring joy into the lives of all these little orphans." Sam thinks probably they're not orphans. "Why you gotta rain all over my orphan parade, Sam? Why?" Yeah, Sam. Nobody likes an orphan parade pooper. "Listen, I am a light in this dark world. I am Sock no longer. I am Wrenchy Bench... Forever." I'm pretty sure he cribbed that line from Batman Forever.

Cut to Sock working his Wrenchy Bench mojo out by the parking lot again. He is bringing joy to big and little orphans alike. An attractive woman asks him if she can have his autograph, too. He gives her a "special one" on her cleavage. "Is that... permanent marker?" Oh, maybe. Yeah. She huffs off and he calls out after her. "Oh, you'll thank me for it later! Trust me!" Insert Beavis and Butthead laugh. A man in a suit comes up to him with a letter. "Bret Wysocki?" Sock tells him that is no longer his name - Wrenchy Bench is his new identity. Sock asks the man for his name so he can give him a personal autograph. "You've been served, jerk-off."

"What's your problem, dude?" Sock yells at the leaving man. Sock can't open the letter with his giant mascot hands, so Sam opens and reads it for him. It's a cease and desist letter from the Bargain Bench, apparently Wrenchy infringes on their character, "Bargain Brandon, the price smashing hammer". Sock has been court ordered to stop being Wrenchy Bench immediately and to destroy the costume. "Sorry, Sock." Sam says as wacky music plays. "This will not stand." Sock wads up the envelop in his oversized mascot glove and throws it on the ground before he waddles off.

I don't think Bargain Bench really has a case. A hammer and a wrench are two very different tools (though after I lost my hammer I have used a wrench to hammer things). As we will see soon, Wrenchy Bench and Bargain Brandon aren't similar at all, in design or anything else, with the only exception being they're both tools and mascots for hardware stores, and you can't copyright things like "tool" and "mascot for a hardware store". If even this is infringement, maybe Disney has a case against Pinky and the Brain for infringing on Mickey Mouse. In any case, Bargain Bench should be taking this up with Work Bench corporate or at least interim manager Ted, not the worker who is getting paid $50 to dress up as a mascot.

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Back at Sock's house, Sam has situated Sprong in front of the TV in the living room. He stuffs a cushion behind Sprong's back to make him "more comfy". But off the look Sprong gives him, maybe not. Sam hands Sprong the remote. Dude, his hands are duct taped to a chair. He'll just have to watch whatever you put on the TV. I suggest torturing him with an American Idol marathon. Sam just puts the remote on Sprong's lap. Then he puts a beer helmet on him in case he gets thirsty. But he is not getting any beer, just soda on the left and spring water on the right. Sam reminds him to be careful how much he drinks unless he wants to "give the adult diaper a try". Who has the thankless task of putting an adult diaper on him?

"I can only imagine your parents' profound disappointment in you." Sprong gives Sam a death glare. "Ah, they're okay, actually, but thanks," Sam amiably tells him. "We've got Nina here to watch you, and she's promised not to eat you. Right Nina?" Nina obligingly repeats: "I'm not gonna eat you." She shakes her head for emphasis. This would be such a weird thing for Sprong to hear if he's not aware she's a demon. Or maybe he'd think she's a nymphomaniac and "eat" means something else.

Sam assures Sprong that they will let him go as soon as they find Jordy, which might be at the school dance next week. Really? Why would Jordy go to a school dance looking for Sprong? Is this just an excuse to relive some memories with Andi? Sprong is not happy at the prospect of being taped to a chair for a week. "I knew you were stupid, Oliver. I just didn't know you were criminally stupid. You wasted space in my classroom, you're wasting space here now, and you will waste space when they put you in jail. Until another waste of space beats your skull to a bloody pulp with a broom handle. And that will be a good. Day." Sam is just like "Ooookaaay" and he leaves Sprong with friendly pats on the shoulder after reminding him once again "soda on the left, water on the right".

I think now I get why Sprong seems to hate Sam the most out of all of them. Unlike Andi, Sock, and Ben, who all got mad or cried from his words, Sam is pretty unflappable. Sprong can try to insult him all day long and Sam would still just be like "Ooookaaay". That must be infuriating for Sprong.

Canadian Tire... er... I mean, Bargain Bench. That's cool that they seem to be shooting at the same Canadian Tire they used in the Pilot. It's like the show is coming full circle. Also it adds to the whole "Bargain Bench is an alternate universe Work Bench" thing they seem to have going on. Sock marches inside and straight to the manager. Sock can tell he is the manager because he is sort of like Ted with a mustache (not the same actor, just similar mannerisms and line delivery). Unfortunately we do not see Sock's style twin again.

Sock puts the cease and desist letter right in his face and demands he explain. "You and your store are a bunch of copycats. Your stupid wrench? Is a mockery of Bargain Brandon." And I still maintain that they don't have a case, especially not against Sock, since he did not invent Wrenchy Bench. "Wrenchy Bench - is NOT stupid," is all Sock has to say. "Bargain Brandon is a beloved icon," BB manager boasts. "He's been hammering prices since 2002."

Sock's attention is now directed to the man-sized hammer with a cartoon face surrounded by happy children across the aisle. I have no idea how someone can see or breathe in that costume. Oh, but Bargain Brandon sees Sock, and he raises his index and middle finger to his big toony eyes and then points them at Sock to make an intimidating "I see you" gesture. "That's a mascot?" Sock scoffs. "A hammer? That doesn't even make sense dude."

"Yeah, well, the judge thought it did. Face it, I just killed your wrench. Work Bench scum." Did he bribe this judge or what? Sock narrows his eyes and wads up the cease and desist letter. "Not you, not some stupid piece of paper can stop me from being Wrenchy Bench, alright? You're gonna have to pry that costume from my dead, cold, slightly overweight body!" He knocks over a bunch of plastic cups. I was expecting Sock to throw the wad of paper at someone, but he held onto it. "Screw you, Brandon!" Bargain Brandon points a warning finger at Sock. Oh, it is on like a prawn... who yawns at dawn.

Cut to Sock dancing around the Work Bench parking lot telling everyone to "look at me!" and declaring himself "waaaay better" than Bargain Brandon. Sam and Ben looks on, concerned that Sock is going to scare people. Seeing he's not going to stop any time soon, Sam and Ben talk amongst themselves. Sam asks Ben how it's going with Nina's demon heat. Terrible. A demon tried to chew through their bedroom wall last night. Ben is determined to fight Xavier to send all the demons a message to back off of his girl. Sam tells him to be careful. In the background, Bargain Brandon tackles Wrenchy Bench. After a beat, Sam and Ben notice what's going on and run towards them. Then they just stand there and watch them duke it out.

The tools roll around a bit. They get up and Brandon kicks Wrenchy in the junk. Wrenchy hits back and while Brandon is down, Wrenchy lies on him on his back to crush him. Brandon's shoe goes flying. More rolling around. Sam wonders if they should stop this. Ben deadpans: "It's terrible, we should." They continue to stand back and watch the fight. Wrenchy threatens to make Brandon eat the hammer. Wrenchy yanks the hammer head off the costume, and now he can see he has been fighting this frail looking white-haired old lady this entire time. "Oh!" He gasps. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry, I-" The old lady punches him hard in the face. "Oh, it is on now, old lady!" Sam's look of horror here is priceless. Ben merely raises an eyebrow. Just as Wrenchy is about to strike back, Ted comes rushing out and holds him back. "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! This is not what Wrenchy Bench is about! Wrenchy Bench is about good service, and competitive prices. NOT about violence. It's not about... punching old ladies! YOU... should be ashamed of yourself!"

The old lady sneers at them. Ted faces her down. "And you can go back to the candy-ass outfit you came from before I call the police!" Sock yells out "yeah!" but is quickly silenced by Ted's finger. The old lady marches off, head held high as if she's the Queen of England. Man, where did casting find this old lady? She is awesome.

Later, back inside the Work Bench. Sam is stocking work gloves. All of sudden there is an S & M mask in his box of gloves. The Devil shows up and tells him it might come in handy for their houseguest. "Pulp Fiction style!" He offers to get Sam a ball-gag or fur-lined cuffs. "Ew, no, it's not like that." Sam says. "Sammy, you have a grown man duct-taped to a chair in your house. Now don't you tell me you don't have something freaky going on up in there." Sam insists they're only protecting Sprong from Jordy. "No, you're protecting yourself. From arrest and prosecution." Sam admits that's not entirely untrue. The Devil is just tickled pink by this and calls himself a "mighty proud papa bear". "Kidnapping, assault... you're way more twisted than I ever hoped."

It doesn't seem to register with Sam that The Devil set him up to do bad things again, and the worse part is, the bad things he did exceeded The Devil's expectations. Sam just bemoans the difficulty of finding and catching Jordy. The Devil tells him Jordy can become invisible. Yeah, but as usual The Devil only gives Sam partial information. If Jordy's power was invisibility ONLY, Sam would still have hit invisible Jordy with the mallet, since he only disappears like a millisecond before the mallet would have hit him. So it has to be invisibility + super-speed, or he can dematerialize.

The Devil encourages Sam to let Sprong go to draw out Jordy. Sam is not okay with risking letting Sprong get killed. The Devil tries to persuade Sam that Sprong getting killed would make the world a better place. Sam insists that it is wrong. He wants The Devil to just tell him how to find Jordy. The Devil tells him not to worry about that, since Jordy will find him.

Work Bench warehouse. Ben screws a wooden board on a shelf and tries to break it with his karate chop. Unfortunately, he uses the flat part of his palm and not the edge of his hand where the hard bone is, so it hurts Ben and the board is still totally intact. Anyway, breaking a board with your hand is much trickier than breaking a board with your foot. He should try kicking first. Or, considering he will be fighting a demon, he should forgo the entire "my body is the ultimate weapon" approach and ask Sock to hook him up with a flame thrower to even the odds.

Nina comes in bearing Ben's lunch. She asks him what he's doing. Getting ready for war. He's going to fight Xavier. Nina reminds him he promised not to do anything stupid. Ben thinks stupid would be letting demons steal his girl. "No one is stealing me, Ben!" Nina will not stand by and let him get killed. Ben bitches that people always want to treat him like a weak little girl. "I'm a man, Nina. I do man things." "Fighting a demon doesn't make you a man, it makes you dead!" Ben would rather be dead than be a coward. He wants to know why Nina is so against this. Let me direct your memory back to when Nina told you her first human love died and she doesn't want to go through that again. Nina tearily tells him he's mortal and breakable and could really die, and she couldn't handle that. Ben promises he won't die. "This is why I'm training. I'm training to be an ultimate champion." Jenny Wade looks like she's about to crack up here, but she holds it together.

Ben moves to show her what he's been working on. "X, right? That's what they call you?" He lunges at the board with his hand again, and this time, breaks it. I think that's because his last failed blow already cracked it a little. Ben is surprised and ecstatic at his success. "I'm totally going to own this guy!" Nina silently turns and punches a hole in the warehouse wall. "Fighting demons is a little more than punching through a silly piece of plywood, Ben." "I'm aware of that... now." "Good." She leaves.

Ben wraps duct-tape around his hand in the break-room. "Ghetto boxing gloves, huh?" Sock is sitting on a table with the giant Wrenchy gloves on, the battered Wrenchy costume slumped sadly empty behind him. "Nice." Ben tells him he is going to reclaim his manhood. Xavier comes sniffing around Nina again, he's going to have to go through "these guys". He brandishes his tiny delicate duct-taped fist. "Lilo..." Brandishing the not yet duct-taped delicate fist "...and Stitch." Sock advises him to save himself the pain. "Try and fight the natural order of things, next thing you know - getting punched in the face by some old lady in a hammer suit." Ben is still fired up to fight, and in the middle of listening to his fired-up speech, Sock shushes Ben with an idea. "What if this little demon duel of yours doesn't have to end with you getting killed?" Sock points at the Wrenchy Bench costume. Padding and duct-tape. Yeah, it's harder to punch a hole through that than a solid wall, but unless it is padded much, much more, a demon can still break Ben's bones and/or give him internal injuries through that.

Ben is not on board with wearing that to his fight. "We shall rebuild it, Benjamin!" Sock gives him the whole "rebuild" spiel from The Six Million Dollar Man. "Faster, stronger, demon-proofer." Ben still doesn't know what Sock is talking about, but because Sock is so excited, he is in, no matter how stupid. "Very stupid." Sock assures him.

Work Bench montage! The Roots' "Here I Come" blares. Sock and Ben are taking ducts, insulation, pipes. Working with power-tools. Skateboarding through the sports aisle and taking some sports padding. Spray-painting. Feeding each other hotdogs with arms linked like a newlywed couple with champagne. Fitting a hardhat with a face cage. Putting it all together on Ben. Prominent shot of padding over the crotch. The result doesn't actually look anything like Wrenchy. It's more like they built a demon suit out of hardware parts. Complete with spikes on his shoulder pads and kneepads. I see they didn't use the hardhat after all. They put a garbage can on Ben's head with the face part cut out and covered by the face cage. Sock hits Ben with a shovel. He goes down, but it "feels good".

Sock's house. Sock, Sam and Andi comes in the kitchen bearing pizza. But Nina and Sprong are both gone. All that's left is an open refrigerator and huge mess of food everywhere. And a note: "Ate the last of the meatloaf, went out for a moose. XOXO Nina" At least she didn't eat Sprong. They hear someone grunting out in the yard through the ajar kitchen door.

They rush out to the yard to find Sprong straining to get over the fence. He is putting his weight right on the pointy fence. I see biology has not taught him that pointy things and vital organs don't mix. Sam yells at him to get back inside, he's going to get himself killed. Sprong says that's better than getting killed by them. Andi says they're just trying to help him. Sprong gives her a "I doubt that very much" face. "You know what?" Sock says. "Screw this guy. Let him go, I hope Jordy kicks his ass."

Jordy pops up out of nowhere. "Works for me!" Sock, Sam, and Andi scream.

[bec]

They manage to carry Sprong back inside the kitchen and lock the door. Of course, Jordy is already there waiting for them. Sam tries again to hit him with the mallet. Same old disappearing schtick. Jordy appears in the living room. Sam and Sock chase after him and Sam accidentally hits Sock with the mallet when he misses Jordy again. Oh, man, was that right in the nuts? Looks like it. Jordy appears next the the knife block with a knife in hand. He relates what Sprong did to him - make him feel like nothing, saying that he was worthless. That pales in comparison to Ben's cat story, Jordy. Sam tells him to forget it, he's not getting Sprong.

Jordy disappears and when he reappears, he has grabbed Andi and holds a knife to her throat. He disappears with her and reappears with her in the backyard, yelling at them that he is not playing around, give him Sprong and he'll let her go. He drags her into the shed. Sock tells Sam they have to do it. Sprong scoffs at the suggestion that they'd let Jordy kill him. His smirk fades, however, when he sees them silently give each other a "yeah, we're doing this" look.

The boys shove Sprong, still duct-taped to the chair, into the shed with Jordy. Sam: "There ya go." Sock: "Kill away." Knife to her throat, Andi is still like "Sam, no!" Sam makes a big show of agreeing with Jordy, assuring him that they won't stop him from killing Sprong. Jordy lets Andi go. She immediately goes to Sam and try to convince him that this is wrong. Sprong taunts Jordy as Jordy advances on him with the knife. Jordy raises the knife to stab him and Sprong suddenly pulls out the mallet from behind his back and hits him in the chest. The surprise attack worked. Jordy did not have time to disappear. He is sucked into the vessel.

Sock and Sam cheer at their plan's success. Sam asks if Sprong finally believes them now. That they're not evil or idiots? Sprong hits Sam in the face with the mallet. He hits Sock in the chest with the mallet. Then he rips the duct-tape off, drops the mallet and runs.

Work Bench breakroom. Sock, Sam and Andi did not sleep well the night before. They're all worried about getting arrested for kidnapping and holding someone hostage. Sam tells them he'll take one for the team, turn himself in, and tell the cops it was all him. Andi won't allow him to do this. Sock thinks this is a great plan and Sam will really enjoy the structure of prison. You should give him a black eye like you did for Ben, Sock. Sam is too pretty to go to jail. It would be hard to bruise Sam, since he took a mallet to the face without looking the worse for wear, but you have to try.

Andi tells Sam to at least wait and see if Sprong changes his mind about going to the cops. Obviously he did not change his mind, because there are two cops, one male, one female, outside looking for them.

[bec]

The male cop asks if they are Sam Oliver, Andi Prendergast and Bret Wysocki. They politely answer in the affirmative. The cops are here on a "complaint from Eliot Sprong". Sam tells them he's the one they really want to talk to. Andi insists they were all there. Male cop tells them they're really here to make sure they're okay and not injured. Sam is confused by this. Female cop explains that they believe Sprong has had a psychological break. He's been having violent delusions. "Told us he may have assaulted one of you with a 'magic' mallet." Sam, Sock, and Andi laugh and breathe a collective sigh of relief. They confirm that they're unhurt. Female cop tells them they can contact her if they want to press charges. Andi tells her that would be unnecessary. The cops leave. The three of them cheer and high-five each other.

I can't believe Sprong never told them he was kidnapped and duct-taped to a chair for days. But maybe he was so snippy with the cops, they would rather just think he's a nut. And maybe The Devil helped make him appear crazier somehow so Sam doesn't end up in jail.

Back to Sock's house and the ongoing demon-heat saga. Ben shows Nina his demon-fighting getup in the kitchen. She is impressed. "It's a little tight in the crotch area. But, you know, I live with the pain because I care." He checks if she's okay with him doing this. Nina is still afraid, but she will support him since this is so important to him and she is crazy about him. "You know, I never dated a guy before who dressed up like a weird, semi-robot to protect me."

"I'd do anything for you, baby." Except stay out of stupid trouble. Ben asks Nina what she thinks of the gold color of his hardware armor. It was his idea as he thought silver was "too on the nose". Nina loves the gold, she finds it manly and sexy. "No stupid muscular demon could ever compare to you."

"Damn right," Ben agrees. "Now let's put this stupid demon back in his place. Are you sure you can lure him here?" Nina is confident that she can, seeing how she has been through "eons" of demon-heat, and have mated with hundreds, no, thousands of guys. Words every significant other loves to hear, as Ben's face tells us.

Nina goes out onto the patio and unbuttons her blouse, baring her sexy lace tank top and bra straps, wafting pheromones into the night air. A demon roars nearby. Nina tells Ben he's coming. Ben orders her to get inside and lock the doors. Nina gives him a hug. "Go get him, baby."

Ben faces the incoming demon. "Alright, chief, it's just you and me now. Let's dance!"

Sock sees Nina at the window and asks her what's up. "Ben's defending my honor!" Sock quickly grabs a spot at the window. "Already? Oh... Hot diggity dog!" Sock comments on the "good looking robot suit". He still thinks they should be gone with silver. Gold is a bit tacky. Nina: "Hmm."

Ben gets in a few good blows. X swats at him. Ben swings at X again and misses. X takes the opportunity to jump on his back... and hump him.

Sock comments that this doesn't look like any fight he's ever seen. Nina realizes she must have rubbed some pheromones on Ben when she hugged him. "That demon is not trying to fight Ben, he's trying to mate with him!" Sock and Nina makes quick plans to hose them down. "Ooh," something catches Sock's attention. "Oh! That was a terrible place for a ventilation hole." Eeeew! They rush off to save Ben.

Brickhouse. The whole gang's here. Sam gets Ben a beer. Sock doesn't get why Ben is so upset. Sock fake sobs: "I got another demon after me that wants to make love to me, why am I so attractive?" Sock confirms that X never touched Ben's actual body, the demon suit protected him. Ben is still traumatized. "The grinding... the humping... and the romantic words he was whispering in my earhole. I can't get it out of my head!" Ben's emotional trauma makes him much more attractive to Nina. The gang cheers to that. Andi looks a little sad, so Sam asks her if she's alright. She just hopes Sprong wasn't right about them being losers. For still doing what they did in high school and not having done anything with their lives. Well, now, that's not exactly true unless they also hunted souls for The Devil in high school.

Sock goes with a much more long-winded way to tell her they're not, in fact, losers. "Uh-uh, Andi, you know what? I reject that, and I reject you. Okay? Don't you laugh! None of us have done anything with out lives? Excuse me! Do you know who you're looking at? I was, if only for a brief moment, the face of the Work Bench, young lady! I was a lovable foam wrench character that was adored by children all over the country, okay? I took a stand against tyranny and alleged copyright infringement. And not to mention, I kicked an old lady's ass all over town. I don't think I can fit any more life into myself without exploding all over this bar."

Sock goes on. "And Benjamin, right here. I mean, come on, let's all face it, he is banging a super smoking hot demon named Nina, alright? And tonight, he defended her honor and now he's got a kickass robot suit." This makes Ben feel a lot better.

"And you," Sock points at Andi. "Look at you, you little bellyacher, you little sourpuss. You were manager of a major national chain home improvement store, were you not?" Andi reminds Sock that she got demoted. She does not, however remind Sock that it was mostly because of him. Sock shrugs. "So? Who cares you got demoted, you hated the job, didn't you? Right? And you know what the best revenge is?" Living well? "Happiness, Andi." Sock states. Eh, close enough. "Are you happy, right here, right now? Are you happy?" She and Sam stare at each other adorably. Andi concedes that she is happy.

"And this guy right here, Samuel," Sock puts an arm around Sam. "I mean, what more can I say? Heir to the throne of the underworld. What's? Up?" Everyone cheer to that. Nina applause.

"So, losers? Uh-uh. I think not. Winners." Sock raises his glass. Everyone follow suit in a group toast. "Winners!"