Post by pacejunkie on Mar 27, 2009 15:00:27 GMT -5
This week’s episode begins at the Wysocki house where Sock and Sam are sitting on the couch playing with their Wiis. Get your minds out of the gutter you CW watching perverts, I mean the video console. Ben returns from a little shopping. I guess he’s become the mom of this little domestic arrangement. He’s picked up Sock’s special potatoes, Sam’s special soy pizza pouches (really Sam?) and his own “private food”. Whatever. I’m really not interested in Ben’s private food. But he also got scratch and win lottery tickets! Good boy Ben. Wasn’t it the Devil who referred to the lottery as the idiot tax? There you go. Except not, because they scratch away and Sam learns he’s won $1,000. For doing nothing. That’s the kind of income these boys like. Ben points out that he paid for the ticket, but Sam is too excited to listen, saying he wants to go cash it in since he wanted to take Andi away for the weekend. Sock’s all, “I hate that guy.”
Outside Jojo’s News and Brews, Sam is fondling his cash as he walks back to his car. He gets in, unsuspecting, and thus fails to be on guard when the Devil snaps up his stash. Sam is pissed. “Give me back my hard earned money!” Oh wait, he doesn’t say that, because yeah, money for nothing. But he does ask for it back. The Devil says he needs it to bail Morgan out of jail and would you please stop whining and get us to the police station pronto sir.
At the station Sam is sulking in the waiting area as the Devil lectures him about the evils of money to which Sam, like the ornery troubled teen that he is, just tells him to shut up. Twice. Suddenly the Devil stands with a grin and says, “Here’s our boy!” and the presumed Morgan swaggers out schmoozing with his jailer and looking oh so swanky in a dinner jacket and loosened bow tie. Hmm…. Oh, sorry where was I? Oh yeah, so the Devil welcomes him with open arms as Morgan apologizes for “all this” which is stealing a limo. Dad is amused and does everything but chuck his chin and ruffle his hair. Oh Morgan you scamp! Sam wants to go. Morgan says, “You must be Sam,” and he’s heard so much about him at which time the Devil decides introductions are in order and proceeds to introduce Morgan as his son. “One of the good ones,” he says, “like you yourself, Sammy.” It’s a good old fashioned family reunion, he says. Sam just watches on gobsmacked and dumbstruck which is pretty much how I appear at all of my family reunions so nice bit of realism there.
Back at the Bench, Andi’s posting her first ever work schedule. Sam learns that dating the boss has its perks since it earned him delivery duty for the whole week. He invites her along but she’s too busy with this new job, apologizing for her work coming between them. Sam doesn’t mind, since he points out that his work interferes with their relationship all the time too so turnabout is fair play. And how cute is this banter but I’m glad they’re now moving on. Sam then tells her about the money he won and lost but then in the process of allowing this story to spew from his lips unchecked he also happens to mention that the Devil has a son. Oops. Andi is freaked. Sam tries to convince her it’s not that scary and that he’s a pretty normal guy. “There are little Devils running around and that doesn’t give you chills?” she asks. Nope, not chilling, he says, although he must be growing pretty frigid inside at the thought of ever telling her that he’s demon spawn too.
Next we see Ted in the parking lot. You didn’t honestly think he was gone did you? Okay maybe I did a little so yay Ted is back. And he’s hanging out in the parking lot of the Bench accosting customers and offering to load their trunks for a little cash and didn’t that just sound like a euphemism for something? Sam and Sock are watching with no small measure of amusement at this pathetic sight. Sock stops a lady customer exiting the store and warns her about the strange man. Sam tells Sock how he almost slipped to Andi about his questionable parentage and that he hates lying to her. Then they watch some more as the aforementioned lady customer proceeds to assault Ted with a large bag of mulch. Or dog food. Or cement mix. Or whatever else comes in those large bags you use to hit dorky stalkers with. Good times.
Later at the Wysocki house. Ben is making some good looking poblano quesadillas for his demon lady friend Nina and Kristin the Sock sister. Kristin is looking at an appropriately vacuous fashion magazine and the two women share an exchange about the meaning of beauty. Nina makes some remark about how some people’s idea of beauty has to do with silicon and chest cavities and that weirds Kristin out which is fine by me because she’s leaving now, so nice job Nina. Nina then yums over Ben’s snack and says she’s getting to like human food. “How’s demon food different?” Ben wants to know. “Usually it’s still squirming. Or screaming.” Heh. I like Nina. Ben picks up the abandoned fashion mag and sees one of those sex and intimacy quizzes. He gets all excited and starts answering questions with unbridled glee, but when he asks Nina she clams up and doesn’t want to play. He asks her if she’s unsatisfied “in that way. The sex way.” She says she’s just not that into it and stuffs the entire quesadilla into her mouth. And there’s definitely a euphemism there.
Back at the Bench, Sam is loading deliveries when suddenly he’s not. He’s at an antique store where the Devil is picking out cufflinks for best son evah Morgan. Sam shows his annoyance and the Devil wonders aloud whether he detects a little sibling rivalry. There’s no competition, the Devil tells him. “I’m always going to like him a little better than I like you.” Way to go Dad. That should clear the air. “That really hurts my feelings,” snarks Sam. The Devil then confesses that while Morgan sure is nice and a perfect mix of relative morality and selfishness, he fears his son simply doesn’t want to rule the Netherworld by his side. He’s a reluctant heir it seems. But Sam is a conundrum, the Devil explains. For all his whining and lack of fashion sense, he always gets the job done. He hates that about Sam but he’s so good, he’s effective. If he could just squish the two of them together he’d have the perfect son. And now I have a mental image of Sam and Morgan squished together so thanks for that Satan. Slash writers, power up those laptops.
But bonding time is interrupted by the discovery of a dead body on the floor bleeding out the ears. And isn’t that always the way? Anyway, this dead body it seems is the victim of the latest escaped soul, Edmund Fitzgerald. The man himself. Not the ship. But a shipping magnate, the Devil says. On his deathbed, Edmund ate his gold so no one else could have it. There was a ring that belonged to him that found its way to this shop and he came to collect it. He’ll kill anyone who gets in his way. With bugs. Gold bugs. Did I mention the bugs? They look like Egyptian scarabs, one of which crawls out of the dead guy’s ear and past Sam.
Outside the Bench, Sock is carrying a heavy box for a lady customer. He puts it down, exhausted as only Sock can be and tells her she looks sturdy, thick ankles, she can carry it. Glare. So Sock calls the ever present Ted on over. Sock asks Ted how much money he’s made so far. $6.50 in 4 hours, says Ted but he thinks things will pick up. They certainly will, because Sock says if he carries this lady’s package to her car, and assuming the lady gives him the customary tip of $5, 10, let’s make it $15, Sock will split it with him. Why should he split it when he’s doing all the work the lady asks? Sock starts explaining the nature of the subcontracting arrangement when Ted cuts him off and agrees. Hot on the heels of his success, Sock runs to Andi to ask for extra shifts pronto. She’s dubious. He says something about gambling debts and her being overworked and how “Socket wrench” is here to fix all your problems and I really need to start writing all these nicknames down. “The work will be done,” he says, “It will be better than done. The work will be good.” Heh.
Nina and Ben are at the Brick having burgers. Ben looks pensive so Nina asks him what’s on his mind. Being the sensitive new age guy that he is, Ben says he’s been thinking about things. Any girl’s dream right? Well, Nina’s a demon. She tells him to stop it. Ooookay, says Ben. She looks around and then gets uncomfortable. Ben asks why and she hides behind a menu, saying there’s someone there she doesn’t want to talk to. The offender is Brad, a demon she used to date. They had a short thing, she says. Totally superficial. Entirely physical. Sex, Ben asks? “I thought you weren’t that into it.” Nina gets all flustered and starts stuffing her burger into her mouth. Ben tries to get her to spit it out and talk but she just claims his burger too by moving it closer, so he’s getting nowhere. And he lost his burger.
Sam goes to the bathroom at Chez Sock except he can’t because the Devil is in there, sulking on his porcelain throne. Morgan got himself arrested again, he says, shaking his head in despair. What is he going to do with that kid, he muses. I’m not sure why he’s that fussed, when he seemed proud earlier about his son’s exploits but okay, maybe it was an act. This time he says he wishes more of Sam’s good qualities would rub off on Morgan. And now I’m even more suspicious, because I thought he hated that about Sam. Sam just wants to use the bathroom. The Devil hands him a vessel instead. I hope he washed his hands first. Sam takes it out and it looks like a fancy antique dagger. It seems Edmund is now after a portrait of himself at a gallery downtown. Sam needs to go and claim it before people die. The Devil doesn’t care about that of course; he’s really there because he has a favor to ask Sam. The kind you can’t refuse.
Sam, Sock and Ben arrive at the gallery remarking on this favor -- Sam is now charged with training Morgan, who Sam affectionately refers to as “super tool.” Aw. They’re like brothers already. With a nickname like that he could work at the Bench. Speaking of which, this episode does a nice little tie-in with the trainer/trainee thing as the Sam/Morgan and Sock/Ted plots kind of mirror each other. More on that later, but nicely done. Anyway, back at the gallery, they admire the portrait which sits prominently in the window. Before they can devise a plan of action, Morgan pulls up in his flashy sports car. I’d like to say Maserati but that would presume I know anything at all about cars. Really I have no idea what kind of car it is, but suffice to say it’s the kind that makes guys drool. “Evening bitches,” he says. Sock and Ben try to hate him. They really do. But he jokes about his car and some girlfriend that gave it to him and he’s all nice. Morgan asks which one is surveillance guy, tech guy and fighting guy and he is rewarded with three slack jaws. No plan. No skills. That’s it. But they still get the job done, Sam points out. So Morgan says “hold on a sec” and disappears around the corner. While he’s gone, Sam tries to convince his friends that Morgan’s a dick but they’re not having it. They wonder instead whether Morgan would let them drive his car. They remark on his suit too. Nice suit. While the boys profess their man love and Sam seethes, Morgan returns and throws a car battery through the shop window. As the alarm screams he tells them they have three or four minutes before the cops get there. Then he drives off to some party, just like you’d expect from a guy with a flashy sports car. The guys grab the painting and leg it because really, what choice do they have at that point?
Next day at the Bench, Sock has volunteered to unstock 500 sprinklers, check them all and return the damaged ones. Andi is impressed but skeptical. Sock tells her he can do this, but he needs to work alone. He shuffles her off and as soon as she’s gone, Ted appears in the storeroom. Sock tells Ted he is the boss man that Ted works for him and if Andi comes along he is to run. Ted breathes deeply what he calls the “Work Bench scent” of industrial rubber, turpentine and lawn fertilizer. It’s wonderful and it’s home, he says. Ted is so appreciative that he tells Sock he will do anything he says. He’s just happy to be at the Bench. Sock says he’s taking a nap and to wake him in four hours.
Ben comes to see Gladys at the DMV. She asks with just a hint of glee whether Sock and Sam finally got themselves killed, but Ben says no he’s here on a personal matter and needs her help. He tells her he’s in a relationship with a demon. Gladys looks surprised. “I never would have pegged you for a horn hag.” Heh. Everything’s awesome he says, except he wants to know whether humans can satisfy demons. Yes, she reveals, humans and demons get it on all the time. Gladys then kindly offers to teach Ben how to please a demon. She invites him to drop by her place where she’ll give him a one on one tutorial. Just remember to bring along plenty of plastic garbage bags because she likes to make learning fun. Ew. Ben very politely declines. He asks for advice that doesn’t involve… that and she just says she must find him repulsive. Have a nice day.
That night at Chez Sock, the boys are sitting around the kitchen table looking at the portrait of Edmund. They talk about how to lure Edmund out with it. Sock and Ben suggest they ask Morgan, their new man crush. Sam wants to know why they love him so much. Sock and Ben try to explain the it factor as they rattle off a few examples -- Clooney. Pitt. Rickles. Heh. Ben said he had it once. “That was a really good summer for you,” says Sock.
Meanwhile Edmund is outside spitting nickels. Actually, they’re gold coins that turn into the gold bugs. He watches them through the window. Back in the kitchen, Sock hauls off and whacks Ben with a cast iron pan. Not kidding, what is he Elmer Fudd? Turns out he was squashing a bug. A big gold bug. This tips Sam off that the soul is there and all at once more bugs attack and the dudes start smacking each other like the cartoon characters they are with just a little bit of Three Stooges thrown in. Sam tries to stab one with the vessel but it just works like a regular knife which is no good so they all run and get in the bathtub and hide. Cue creepy music, some shadows and footsteps and Kristin pulls back the curtain and everyone screams! Well it is a scary sight. She of course wants to know what they’re doing in the bathtub because she’s not that stupid not to know that this is wrong. Hide and Seek, Sock says. Really? says idiot sister with a wide eyed smile and the chirp of a few crickets. Yeah, I take it back, she is that stupid, but again her scenes are mercifully short these days. Those focus groups must be hard at work. Sam and Ben go back out and see the painting is gone.
At the Bench breakroom the next day, Andi shudders over the story told to her by Sam and Ben. She wonders where he’s putting all the stuff. They imagine he has a warehouse. Andi looks out the window onto the shop floor and sees Ted, who scarpers and hides up in the shelves like the cockroach that he is. She tells him he can’t be there. Ted calls her Judas. Miss fancy pants. Drunk with power. She tells him to leave. Ted says she has to talk to the boss. And just who pray tell is his boss? Andi finds Sock napping in the back and hilariously yells in his face and then when she has his attention she tells him he can’t subcontract his job to Ted, because you know, Ted was fired. Sock offers to cut her in and Andi says get rid of him. Sock tells her how the place is his whole life, and it would be cruel to take it away. Force him to leave and destroy him. While Andi contemplates that little bit of moral responsibility, Ben and Sam enter and say they found a shipyard Edmund used to own and there’s some storage place there.
The guys head to the storage facility and there are miles of storage containers. But there’s Morgan leaning against his chick magnet with the handy info telling them where the stash is. Sam whines, “I don’t believe this the Devil never helps me with anything,” which only makes Morgan look cooler. Morgan says he’s a pushover actually when you know how to work him. They enter the container and it’s full of stuff. Actually it looks a lot like the contents of the antique store like they just emptied out that set and moved all the props in here. Morgan looks around pie eyed and picks up a nice gold ring. Sam finds a list of the stuff with everything checked off apart from “Mary Ann”. He finds a photo of Edmund and some lady and assumes that’s her. They leave to find her, but not before Morgan closes the box he was looking into and looks around shiftily in that TV way like he just might have stolen something shiny. Bugs watch them leave.
Back at the Bench, Andi is telling Sam about Ted when Morgan shows up. Andi seems impressed but Sam tells her he’s a jerk. Morgan approaches them and tells Sam he has Mary Ann’s address from Dad. He introduces himself to Andi and tells her what a great guy Sam is and Andi agrees. Really, he could not be more charming. Don’t say it, Sam warns Andi after he leaves, but Andi kills it by saying he’s not that bad and Sam is irritated again.
Ben comes to find Nina at her lair. Seriously, there’s no other word for this barn-like structure that she lives in other than lair. Except perhaps barn. He has a bottle of wine and says he wants to talk more about this sex thing. Sex “is a cornerstone of… something, I don’t know but I read it in some female books.” Heh. Ben reads female books. What exactly are female books, Nina asks and quite right too because I’m thinking Oprah’s book club selections. He thinks the problem is she pretends to be human for him, so he offers to have sex with her as a demon with a few provisos and quid pro quos. One, watch that her wings don’t poke him. Two, his skin is sensitive. Three, don’t talk while they do it because her demon voice is “a little mannish” and four, he’s going to drink first. Heavily. Nina says okay so let me get this straight, you want this and she changes into her demon form. Ben, ever the romantic, says, “I can drink from the bottle.” Hilarious. Nina not surprisingly flies off through the roof in a huff and the breaking of much glass.
And now we must be at Mary Ann’s house, because there are Sam and Morgan on the floral couch and they’re talking to a distinguished looking old lady who sure ain’t Ginger. Sam says they are there to warn her that Edmund is back from the dead and may be after her. He says she’s on a list they found of everything he loved. She says no, they’re wrong, that Edmund only loved things. Turns out Mary Ann was his boat, not his lady. It sank 50 years ago to the bottom of the Pacific, and he’ll never find it the S.O.B. They go to leave when she notices Morgan has Edmund’s ring.
Outside, Sam tells Morgan he has to take it back. Morgan says no. Sam says he knows why the Devil is disappointed in him, it’s because he’s a moron. He doesn’t care about anybody but himself. Morgan says why would he care about anybody when the world is full of people like Sam. Responsible and ethical, he says, he doesn’t feel it, never has. Seems Morgan feels nothing for anyone. It’s liberating, he says. He’s not killing himself for the family business. Sam can do that and Morgan can stand on his shoulders, or dead body to get to the top. You’re evil, Sam seems to realize now for the first time. I’m the son of the devil, what do you expect says Morgan and you know he has a point. Sam says he’s done after this and Morgan says I think not bro, Dad has some serious quality time planned for them. Suddenly a bug enters through the vent and Sam squashes it. Edmund appears in front of the car and Sam bolts. He then goes back when he hears Morgan calling for help because that’s what heroes do.
Sam finds him in a backyard pool area surrounded by bugs and Edmund. He throws the vessel but misses and it sticks in the wall. He tells Morgan to jump in the pool and he does, gets the ring off and throws it to Sam. Then Edmund turns on Sam who offers it back. Edmund opens his mouth for it and Sam asks him not to bite him. Really cool effect here. I love how this soul doesn’t say anything. Spooky. Edmund swallows the ring and Sam grabs him by the shoulders and slams him backwards into the vessel sticking out of the wall which may be one of the coolest soul grabs I’ve ever seen Sam do. Edmund explodes in a shower of fairy dust. The bugs turn back to coins and Morgan who has now reemerged asks, “We can keep those right?” Oh Morgan. Sam looks at him like he’s a squashed bug.
At the Bench, Ben is unloading crates and Nina appears at the loading dock. She can’t keep shoveling food into her mouth so she’s ready to tell him the truth. They sit and she says she used to be an Angel and Ben isn’t her first human. Before the Fall, Angels fell in love with humans and even had children with them called Nephilim, which I’m sure will become relevant later but it’s not relevant here since Nina says she doesn’t have any kids. But when God found out about all this tomfoolery he banished the Angels and “smote” the humans. Simply put, Nina’s been holding back emotionally and physically because she’s scared to lose him. Ben says he’s crazy about her and not going anywhere and she feels better and says she’s ready to be with him completely. He asks for one last clarification as to which body she’s referring to, just to be sure, because I get the feeling he wasn’t serious about that demon thing.
Andi is talking with Ted and Sock in her office. She tells Ted he can’t work there without being an employee, so she called the home office and they agreed to rehire Ted on the condition that he becomes a trainee. Ted smirks and says (I swear he says this) “little girl, I was working in this store when you were still experimenting with alternative lifestyles at summer camp.” Heh. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, someone did but not me, he really said that. Take it or leave it she says. He agrees and Sock is made to be his trainer for six months, giving us our second unlikely pairing this episode. There you have it, Sock and Sam, both forced to be mentors to people they hate. That’ll give them something to bond over when they go drinking later. “Touché,” Sock says, and Andi is the undisputed winner of round two in the Sock v. Andi Battle Royale.
Sam and Morgan are at the DMV. “Who’s the pretty boy,” Gladys asks. Sam says he’s the son of her boss but oddly, Gladys doesn’t even flinch. “So’s Genghis Khan you expect me to be impressed by a Gap ad?” Heh. Sam returns the vessel and asks her what to do with the coins. She says not a vessel, not her problem. Sam takes the coins back and out of Morgan’s grubby grasp and leaves. Morgan calls him selfish and they bicker like brothers. The Devil is waiting outside for them and hugs Morgan all proud. Sam grumbles. The Devil takes the coins from him and gives them to Morgan as a congratulatory gift for catching his first soul. When Sam objects, the Devil says its blood money and Sam doesn’t want it anyway. Morgan says he doesn’t mind blood on his hands, in fact he prefers it. After Morgan leaves, Sam tells the Devil that Morgan did nothing to save the soul, Sam saved Morgan’s life. The Devil says he’s just trying to give the kid a little confidence; he doesn’t want to demoralize him his first time out. Why not, asks Sam, “You demoralize me all the time.” “Well you can take it,” the Devil responds and how great are these two together in this scene? “Whatever,” says Sam. The Devil then goes on to say that he is realizing that maybe Sam is in fact the perfect son and he should be grooming Sam to be his right hand man. Sam starts protesting, saying he doesn’t want it. The Devil thinks that’s what makes him so perfect. “I’m so conflicted now,” he says, “I don’t know who to root for.” “Morgan,” Sam says. “Root for Morgan.” I wish Sam would make up his mind.
Sam is finishing up at the Bench, when Andi asks him to make one last delivery for the day – a freezer that goes to his mom’s place. He makes the delivery and there’s a note on the door to leave it at the garage. Sam opens the garage door and finds it full of furniture like someone is living there. Then he hears a voice from behind him. “I don’t want you to be afraid,” it says and damn if Sam doesn’t look terrified. Seriously, major props to Bret Harrison for this scene because you can actually see his pulse start to race as he recognizes that voice. He turns slowly and there’s zombie Mr. Oliver, looking like the living undead. “Hey Sam.” “Dad?” Tune in next week.
Outside Jojo’s News and Brews, Sam is fondling his cash as he walks back to his car. He gets in, unsuspecting, and thus fails to be on guard when the Devil snaps up his stash. Sam is pissed. “Give me back my hard earned money!” Oh wait, he doesn’t say that, because yeah, money for nothing. But he does ask for it back. The Devil says he needs it to bail Morgan out of jail and would you please stop whining and get us to the police station pronto sir.
At the station Sam is sulking in the waiting area as the Devil lectures him about the evils of money to which Sam, like the ornery troubled teen that he is, just tells him to shut up. Twice. Suddenly the Devil stands with a grin and says, “Here’s our boy!” and the presumed Morgan swaggers out schmoozing with his jailer and looking oh so swanky in a dinner jacket and loosened bow tie. Hmm…. Oh, sorry where was I? Oh yeah, so the Devil welcomes him with open arms as Morgan apologizes for “all this” which is stealing a limo. Dad is amused and does everything but chuck his chin and ruffle his hair. Oh Morgan you scamp! Sam wants to go. Morgan says, “You must be Sam,” and he’s heard so much about him at which time the Devil decides introductions are in order and proceeds to introduce Morgan as his son. “One of the good ones,” he says, “like you yourself, Sammy.” It’s a good old fashioned family reunion, he says. Sam just watches on gobsmacked and dumbstruck which is pretty much how I appear at all of my family reunions so nice bit of realism there.
Back at the Bench, Andi’s posting her first ever work schedule. Sam learns that dating the boss has its perks since it earned him delivery duty for the whole week. He invites her along but she’s too busy with this new job, apologizing for her work coming between them. Sam doesn’t mind, since he points out that his work interferes with their relationship all the time too so turnabout is fair play. And how cute is this banter but I’m glad they’re now moving on. Sam then tells her about the money he won and lost but then in the process of allowing this story to spew from his lips unchecked he also happens to mention that the Devil has a son. Oops. Andi is freaked. Sam tries to convince her it’s not that scary and that he’s a pretty normal guy. “There are little Devils running around and that doesn’t give you chills?” she asks. Nope, not chilling, he says, although he must be growing pretty frigid inside at the thought of ever telling her that he’s demon spawn too.
Next we see Ted in the parking lot. You didn’t honestly think he was gone did you? Okay maybe I did a little so yay Ted is back. And he’s hanging out in the parking lot of the Bench accosting customers and offering to load their trunks for a little cash and didn’t that just sound like a euphemism for something? Sam and Sock are watching with no small measure of amusement at this pathetic sight. Sock stops a lady customer exiting the store and warns her about the strange man. Sam tells Sock how he almost slipped to Andi about his questionable parentage and that he hates lying to her. Then they watch some more as the aforementioned lady customer proceeds to assault Ted with a large bag of mulch. Or dog food. Or cement mix. Or whatever else comes in those large bags you use to hit dorky stalkers with. Good times.
Later at the Wysocki house. Ben is making some good looking poblano quesadillas for his demon lady friend Nina and Kristin the Sock sister. Kristin is looking at an appropriately vacuous fashion magazine and the two women share an exchange about the meaning of beauty. Nina makes some remark about how some people’s idea of beauty has to do with silicon and chest cavities and that weirds Kristin out which is fine by me because she’s leaving now, so nice job Nina. Nina then yums over Ben’s snack and says she’s getting to like human food. “How’s demon food different?” Ben wants to know. “Usually it’s still squirming. Or screaming.” Heh. I like Nina. Ben picks up the abandoned fashion mag and sees one of those sex and intimacy quizzes. He gets all excited and starts answering questions with unbridled glee, but when he asks Nina she clams up and doesn’t want to play. He asks her if she’s unsatisfied “in that way. The sex way.” She says she’s just not that into it and stuffs the entire quesadilla into her mouth. And there’s definitely a euphemism there.
Back at the Bench, Sam is loading deliveries when suddenly he’s not. He’s at an antique store where the Devil is picking out cufflinks for best son evah Morgan. Sam shows his annoyance and the Devil wonders aloud whether he detects a little sibling rivalry. There’s no competition, the Devil tells him. “I’m always going to like him a little better than I like you.” Way to go Dad. That should clear the air. “That really hurts my feelings,” snarks Sam. The Devil then confesses that while Morgan sure is nice and a perfect mix of relative morality and selfishness, he fears his son simply doesn’t want to rule the Netherworld by his side. He’s a reluctant heir it seems. But Sam is a conundrum, the Devil explains. For all his whining and lack of fashion sense, he always gets the job done. He hates that about Sam but he’s so good, he’s effective. If he could just squish the two of them together he’d have the perfect son. And now I have a mental image of Sam and Morgan squished together so thanks for that Satan. Slash writers, power up those laptops.
But bonding time is interrupted by the discovery of a dead body on the floor bleeding out the ears. And isn’t that always the way? Anyway, this dead body it seems is the victim of the latest escaped soul, Edmund Fitzgerald. The man himself. Not the ship. But a shipping magnate, the Devil says. On his deathbed, Edmund ate his gold so no one else could have it. There was a ring that belonged to him that found its way to this shop and he came to collect it. He’ll kill anyone who gets in his way. With bugs. Gold bugs. Did I mention the bugs? They look like Egyptian scarabs, one of which crawls out of the dead guy’s ear and past Sam.
Outside the Bench, Sock is carrying a heavy box for a lady customer. He puts it down, exhausted as only Sock can be and tells her she looks sturdy, thick ankles, she can carry it. Glare. So Sock calls the ever present Ted on over. Sock asks Ted how much money he’s made so far. $6.50 in 4 hours, says Ted but he thinks things will pick up. They certainly will, because Sock says if he carries this lady’s package to her car, and assuming the lady gives him the customary tip of $5, 10, let’s make it $15, Sock will split it with him. Why should he split it when he’s doing all the work the lady asks? Sock starts explaining the nature of the subcontracting arrangement when Ted cuts him off and agrees. Hot on the heels of his success, Sock runs to Andi to ask for extra shifts pronto. She’s dubious. He says something about gambling debts and her being overworked and how “Socket wrench” is here to fix all your problems and I really need to start writing all these nicknames down. “The work will be done,” he says, “It will be better than done. The work will be good.” Heh.
Nina and Ben are at the Brick having burgers. Ben looks pensive so Nina asks him what’s on his mind. Being the sensitive new age guy that he is, Ben says he’s been thinking about things. Any girl’s dream right? Well, Nina’s a demon. She tells him to stop it. Ooookay, says Ben. She looks around and then gets uncomfortable. Ben asks why and she hides behind a menu, saying there’s someone there she doesn’t want to talk to. The offender is Brad, a demon she used to date. They had a short thing, she says. Totally superficial. Entirely physical. Sex, Ben asks? “I thought you weren’t that into it.” Nina gets all flustered and starts stuffing her burger into her mouth. Ben tries to get her to spit it out and talk but she just claims his burger too by moving it closer, so he’s getting nowhere. And he lost his burger.
Sam goes to the bathroom at Chez Sock except he can’t because the Devil is in there, sulking on his porcelain throne. Morgan got himself arrested again, he says, shaking his head in despair. What is he going to do with that kid, he muses. I’m not sure why he’s that fussed, when he seemed proud earlier about his son’s exploits but okay, maybe it was an act. This time he says he wishes more of Sam’s good qualities would rub off on Morgan. And now I’m even more suspicious, because I thought he hated that about Sam. Sam just wants to use the bathroom. The Devil hands him a vessel instead. I hope he washed his hands first. Sam takes it out and it looks like a fancy antique dagger. It seems Edmund is now after a portrait of himself at a gallery downtown. Sam needs to go and claim it before people die. The Devil doesn’t care about that of course; he’s really there because he has a favor to ask Sam. The kind you can’t refuse.
Sam, Sock and Ben arrive at the gallery remarking on this favor -- Sam is now charged with training Morgan, who Sam affectionately refers to as “super tool.” Aw. They’re like brothers already. With a nickname like that he could work at the Bench. Speaking of which, this episode does a nice little tie-in with the trainer/trainee thing as the Sam/Morgan and Sock/Ted plots kind of mirror each other. More on that later, but nicely done. Anyway, back at the gallery, they admire the portrait which sits prominently in the window. Before they can devise a plan of action, Morgan pulls up in his flashy sports car. I’d like to say Maserati but that would presume I know anything at all about cars. Really I have no idea what kind of car it is, but suffice to say it’s the kind that makes guys drool. “Evening bitches,” he says. Sock and Ben try to hate him. They really do. But he jokes about his car and some girlfriend that gave it to him and he’s all nice. Morgan asks which one is surveillance guy, tech guy and fighting guy and he is rewarded with three slack jaws. No plan. No skills. That’s it. But they still get the job done, Sam points out. So Morgan says “hold on a sec” and disappears around the corner. While he’s gone, Sam tries to convince his friends that Morgan’s a dick but they’re not having it. They wonder instead whether Morgan would let them drive his car. They remark on his suit too. Nice suit. While the boys profess their man love and Sam seethes, Morgan returns and throws a car battery through the shop window. As the alarm screams he tells them they have three or four minutes before the cops get there. Then he drives off to some party, just like you’d expect from a guy with a flashy sports car. The guys grab the painting and leg it because really, what choice do they have at that point?
Next day at the Bench, Sock has volunteered to unstock 500 sprinklers, check them all and return the damaged ones. Andi is impressed but skeptical. Sock tells her he can do this, but he needs to work alone. He shuffles her off and as soon as she’s gone, Ted appears in the storeroom. Sock tells Ted he is the boss man that Ted works for him and if Andi comes along he is to run. Ted breathes deeply what he calls the “Work Bench scent” of industrial rubber, turpentine and lawn fertilizer. It’s wonderful and it’s home, he says. Ted is so appreciative that he tells Sock he will do anything he says. He’s just happy to be at the Bench. Sock says he’s taking a nap and to wake him in four hours.
Ben comes to see Gladys at the DMV. She asks with just a hint of glee whether Sock and Sam finally got themselves killed, but Ben says no he’s here on a personal matter and needs her help. He tells her he’s in a relationship with a demon. Gladys looks surprised. “I never would have pegged you for a horn hag.” Heh. Everything’s awesome he says, except he wants to know whether humans can satisfy demons. Yes, she reveals, humans and demons get it on all the time. Gladys then kindly offers to teach Ben how to please a demon. She invites him to drop by her place where she’ll give him a one on one tutorial. Just remember to bring along plenty of plastic garbage bags because she likes to make learning fun. Ew. Ben very politely declines. He asks for advice that doesn’t involve… that and she just says she must find him repulsive. Have a nice day.
That night at Chez Sock, the boys are sitting around the kitchen table looking at the portrait of Edmund. They talk about how to lure Edmund out with it. Sock and Ben suggest they ask Morgan, their new man crush. Sam wants to know why they love him so much. Sock and Ben try to explain the it factor as they rattle off a few examples -- Clooney. Pitt. Rickles. Heh. Ben said he had it once. “That was a really good summer for you,” says Sock.
Meanwhile Edmund is outside spitting nickels. Actually, they’re gold coins that turn into the gold bugs. He watches them through the window. Back in the kitchen, Sock hauls off and whacks Ben with a cast iron pan. Not kidding, what is he Elmer Fudd? Turns out he was squashing a bug. A big gold bug. This tips Sam off that the soul is there and all at once more bugs attack and the dudes start smacking each other like the cartoon characters they are with just a little bit of Three Stooges thrown in. Sam tries to stab one with the vessel but it just works like a regular knife which is no good so they all run and get in the bathtub and hide. Cue creepy music, some shadows and footsteps and Kristin pulls back the curtain and everyone screams! Well it is a scary sight. She of course wants to know what they’re doing in the bathtub because she’s not that stupid not to know that this is wrong. Hide and Seek, Sock says. Really? says idiot sister with a wide eyed smile and the chirp of a few crickets. Yeah, I take it back, she is that stupid, but again her scenes are mercifully short these days. Those focus groups must be hard at work. Sam and Ben go back out and see the painting is gone.
At the Bench breakroom the next day, Andi shudders over the story told to her by Sam and Ben. She wonders where he’s putting all the stuff. They imagine he has a warehouse. Andi looks out the window onto the shop floor and sees Ted, who scarpers and hides up in the shelves like the cockroach that he is. She tells him he can’t be there. Ted calls her Judas. Miss fancy pants. Drunk with power. She tells him to leave. Ted says she has to talk to the boss. And just who pray tell is his boss? Andi finds Sock napping in the back and hilariously yells in his face and then when she has his attention she tells him he can’t subcontract his job to Ted, because you know, Ted was fired. Sock offers to cut her in and Andi says get rid of him. Sock tells her how the place is his whole life, and it would be cruel to take it away. Force him to leave and destroy him. While Andi contemplates that little bit of moral responsibility, Ben and Sam enter and say they found a shipyard Edmund used to own and there’s some storage place there.
The guys head to the storage facility and there are miles of storage containers. But there’s Morgan leaning against his chick magnet with the handy info telling them where the stash is. Sam whines, “I don’t believe this the Devil never helps me with anything,” which only makes Morgan look cooler. Morgan says he’s a pushover actually when you know how to work him. They enter the container and it’s full of stuff. Actually it looks a lot like the contents of the antique store like they just emptied out that set and moved all the props in here. Morgan looks around pie eyed and picks up a nice gold ring. Sam finds a list of the stuff with everything checked off apart from “Mary Ann”. He finds a photo of Edmund and some lady and assumes that’s her. They leave to find her, but not before Morgan closes the box he was looking into and looks around shiftily in that TV way like he just might have stolen something shiny. Bugs watch them leave.
Back at the Bench, Andi is telling Sam about Ted when Morgan shows up. Andi seems impressed but Sam tells her he’s a jerk. Morgan approaches them and tells Sam he has Mary Ann’s address from Dad. He introduces himself to Andi and tells her what a great guy Sam is and Andi agrees. Really, he could not be more charming. Don’t say it, Sam warns Andi after he leaves, but Andi kills it by saying he’s not that bad and Sam is irritated again.
Ben comes to find Nina at her lair. Seriously, there’s no other word for this barn-like structure that she lives in other than lair. Except perhaps barn. He has a bottle of wine and says he wants to talk more about this sex thing. Sex “is a cornerstone of… something, I don’t know but I read it in some female books.” Heh. Ben reads female books. What exactly are female books, Nina asks and quite right too because I’m thinking Oprah’s book club selections. He thinks the problem is she pretends to be human for him, so he offers to have sex with her as a demon with a few provisos and quid pro quos. One, watch that her wings don’t poke him. Two, his skin is sensitive. Three, don’t talk while they do it because her demon voice is “a little mannish” and four, he’s going to drink first. Heavily. Nina says okay so let me get this straight, you want this and she changes into her demon form. Ben, ever the romantic, says, “I can drink from the bottle.” Hilarious. Nina not surprisingly flies off through the roof in a huff and the breaking of much glass.
And now we must be at Mary Ann’s house, because there are Sam and Morgan on the floral couch and they’re talking to a distinguished looking old lady who sure ain’t Ginger. Sam says they are there to warn her that Edmund is back from the dead and may be after her. He says she’s on a list they found of everything he loved. She says no, they’re wrong, that Edmund only loved things. Turns out Mary Ann was his boat, not his lady. It sank 50 years ago to the bottom of the Pacific, and he’ll never find it the S.O.B. They go to leave when she notices Morgan has Edmund’s ring.
Outside, Sam tells Morgan he has to take it back. Morgan says no. Sam says he knows why the Devil is disappointed in him, it’s because he’s a moron. He doesn’t care about anybody but himself. Morgan says why would he care about anybody when the world is full of people like Sam. Responsible and ethical, he says, he doesn’t feel it, never has. Seems Morgan feels nothing for anyone. It’s liberating, he says. He’s not killing himself for the family business. Sam can do that and Morgan can stand on his shoulders, or dead body to get to the top. You’re evil, Sam seems to realize now for the first time. I’m the son of the devil, what do you expect says Morgan and you know he has a point. Sam says he’s done after this and Morgan says I think not bro, Dad has some serious quality time planned for them. Suddenly a bug enters through the vent and Sam squashes it. Edmund appears in front of the car and Sam bolts. He then goes back when he hears Morgan calling for help because that’s what heroes do.
Sam finds him in a backyard pool area surrounded by bugs and Edmund. He throws the vessel but misses and it sticks in the wall. He tells Morgan to jump in the pool and he does, gets the ring off and throws it to Sam. Then Edmund turns on Sam who offers it back. Edmund opens his mouth for it and Sam asks him not to bite him. Really cool effect here. I love how this soul doesn’t say anything. Spooky. Edmund swallows the ring and Sam grabs him by the shoulders and slams him backwards into the vessel sticking out of the wall which may be one of the coolest soul grabs I’ve ever seen Sam do. Edmund explodes in a shower of fairy dust. The bugs turn back to coins and Morgan who has now reemerged asks, “We can keep those right?” Oh Morgan. Sam looks at him like he’s a squashed bug.
At the Bench, Ben is unloading crates and Nina appears at the loading dock. She can’t keep shoveling food into her mouth so she’s ready to tell him the truth. They sit and she says she used to be an Angel and Ben isn’t her first human. Before the Fall, Angels fell in love with humans and even had children with them called Nephilim, which I’m sure will become relevant later but it’s not relevant here since Nina says she doesn’t have any kids. But when God found out about all this tomfoolery he banished the Angels and “smote” the humans. Simply put, Nina’s been holding back emotionally and physically because she’s scared to lose him. Ben says he’s crazy about her and not going anywhere and she feels better and says she’s ready to be with him completely. He asks for one last clarification as to which body she’s referring to, just to be sure, because I get the feeling he wasn’t serious about that demon thing.
Andi is talking with Ted and Sock in her office. She tells Ted he can’t work there without being an employee, so she called the home office and they agreed to rehire Ted on the condition that he becomes a trainee. Ted smirks and says (I swear he says this) “little girl, I was working in this store when you were still experimenting with alternative lifestyles at summer camp.” Heh. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, someone did but not me, he really said that. Take it or leave it she says. He agrees and Sock is made to be his trainer for six months, giving us our second unlikely pairing this episode. There you have it, Sock and Sam, both forced to be mentors to people they hate. That’ll give them something to bond over when they go drinking later. “Touché,” Sock says, and Andi is the undisputed winner of round two in the Sock v. Andi Battle Royale.
Sam and Morgan are at the DMV. “Who’s the pretty boy,” Gladys asks. Sam says he’s the son of her boss but oddly, Gladys doesn’t even flinch. “So’s Genghis Khan you expect me to be impressed by a Gap ad?” Heh. Sam returns the vessel and asks her what to do with the coins. She says not a vessel, not her problem. Sam takes the coins back and out of Morgan’s grubby grasp and leaves. Morgan calls him selfish and they bicker like brothers. The Devil is waiting outside for them and hugs Morgan all proud. Sam grumbles. The Devil takes the coins from him and gives them to Morgan as a congratulatory gift for catching his first soul. When Sam objects, the Devil says its blood money and Sam doesn’t want it anyway. Morgan says he doesn’t mind blood on his hands, in fact he prefers it. After Morgan leaves, Sam tells the Devil that Morgan did nothing to save the soul, Sam saved Morgan’s life. The Devil says he’s just trying to give the kid a little confidence; he doesn’t want to demoralize him his first time out. Why not, asks Sam, “You demoralize me all the time.” “Well you can take it,” the Devil responds and how great are these two together in this scene? “Whatever,” says Sam. The Devil then goes on to say that he is realizing that maybe Sam is in fact the perfect son and he should be grooming Sam to be his right hand man. Sam starts protesting, saying he doesn’t want it. The Devil thinks that’s what makes him so perfect. “I’m so conflicted now,” he says, “I don’t know who to root for.” “Morgan,” Sam says. “Root for Morgan.” I wish Sam would make up his mind.
Sam is finishing up at the Bench, when Andi asks him to make one last delivery for the day – a freezer that goes to his mom’s place. He makes the delivery and there’s a note on the door to leave it at the garage. Sam opens the garage door and finds it full of furniture like someone is living there. Then he hears a voice from behind him. “I don’t want you to be afraid,” it says and damn if Sam doesn’t look terrified. Seriously, major props to Bret Harrison for this scene because you can actually see his pulse start to race as he recognizes that voice. He turns slowly and there’s zombie Mr. Oliver, looking like the living undead. “Hey Sam.” “Dad?” Tune in next week.
